tonight i am grateful

tonight i am grateful.
i'm grateful for my sweet parents who endlessly provide.
i'm grateful for my best friend who is serving an LDS mission.
and I am so grateful to say that I am loved.
I am so loved.

Let me go on.

About two months ago, I had an incredibly sensitive bottom front tooth. I went in to the dentist, absolutely positive it was a cavity. But it wasn't. x rays were clear, and the "mystery tooth" went on for the next month. X ray after x ray, appointment after appointment- nothing. Not only was it a terribly sensitive tooth, but it was getting harder to move my jaw, and the left side of my face was on fire. My left ear joined the party and throbbed into the endless hours of the night. I could not lie down to sleep; I spent a couple nights either falling asleep in an upright position leaning against my headboard, or not sleeping at all.

It was terribly frightening for me, but probably even more for my sweet parents. About two Sundays ago, my father gave me a blessing. I felt his shaky hands, along with the Bishops placed on my head, and as my father wept, I couldn't help but weep along with him. In that instant, I felt the love from my earthly father so strongly. I also felt the love of my Heavenly Father as well. 

I am loved.

Before I go on, I have to introduce the Smith's. I was so fortunate to date Zachary, and fall in love with his family. His mother Jacki is an angel; she freely gives and expects nothing in return. His father Alan is a doctor, and is so selfless as well. They are all I ever hope to be.

A couple minutes after I received my blessing, I texted Jacki and asked her if they had any medication. My cupboards were empty. Immediately, she told me to make my way over, and they would have it ready for me. 

I cannot help but cry as I continue with this story.

I drove over in excruciating pain. I had bags underneath my eyes from loss of sleep from the previous night. I was in clothes i wore the day before, and I was drained. I walked to their front porch and knocked on the door. As I heard it open, I found Alan smiling at me.

"Well hello my little princess!"

Hearing those words almost brought me to cry out sobs. Me, a princess? Me, with dirty clothes and dark bags under my eyes, a princess? 

I am loved.

I did receive medication. not only that, but a plateful of Jacki's homemade muffins, and a birthday gift. (my birthday was earlier that week) 

I came to their house empty handed, with a breaking heart.

As I walked to my car with all that I had just received, I cried like a child as I looked at my arms. They were full, just like my heart.

I am loved. I am so loved.

Tonight, I went into the doctors office to have Alan see what could possibly be wrong. My lovely mother came along with me. as we arrived, I saw that Jacki was there too. as Alan gave me instructions, I looked around the room. my mother and Jacki sat next to each other, and I had Alan standing in front of me. I courageously held back tears. the room was full of people I most cherish. they were all there for me. I've said it about 5 times now, and i will say it again.

I am loved.